Tips for Teaching Your Preteen Responsibility

Assuming preteen responsibility comes naturally to some children, as they become preteens. With other children, pre-teen responsibility is something that they learn by example from others or through what they read.  Parents, other family members and teachers, teach children who soon become preteens, how to be responsible in terms of being true to themselves, part of their own families and communities, as well as the world. 

Consider the following tips for teaching your preteen responsibility. 

The freedictionary.com suggests that responsibility has three main implications, “the state or position of being responsible, a person or thing for which one is responsible and the ability or authority to act or decide on one's own, without supervision”.

Look at these more closely.

The state or position of being responsible:

Many parents are aware that some, but not necessarily all of their children, appear to be relatively responsible in spite of their age. These children tend to make responsible decisions and act in a responsible manner, even though they can still be quite young. True to their own natures, they tend to become responsible preteens, too. This is not stating that they do not ever err, as everyone does at one time or another.

For example, one preteen may say, “I am a responsible member of our family, no longer a child.” He or she then behaves in a responsible manner, regardless of where he or she is or what he or she does. This is often a reflection of or the role modeling of a parent, an older sibling or another role model.

Unfortunately, this is not always the case.

Other children become preteens, but never really become responsible preteens, probably because they have had different upbringings. This preteen might suggest, “I can do as I please” and proceeds to do so. He or she is self-oriented and quite selfish by nature. This is stating that this preteen probably got away with whatever he or she did as a child and that he or she intends to continue that kind of behavior and lifestyle, perhaps indefinitely.

The non-responsible preteen has no intention of ever growing up or acting in a responsible manner. He or she may never assume a responsible teenager or adult stand in life, either. “I don’t have to grow up!” he or she may insist. This preteen is heading for serious problems, both as a teenager and an adult.  

The people or things for which preteens are responsible:

Preteens can begin to take responsibility for their own toys and other personal belongings, as well as those of others in their families. For example, a preteen can assume the responsibility for taking care of his or her bicycle. This preteen can also help his or her siblings take care of theirs, too.

Preteens can begin to assume some responsibility for the care of their younger siblings and other children under appropriate adult supervision and should be encouraged to do so. For example, a preteen can take care of a small brother or sister, while his or her mother works in the garden, nearby. He or she is a natural born helper or has been taught to be a helper.  

An irresponsible preteen would probably refuse to do anything to help anyone or perhaps not be able to do so, because he or she has never learned or been taught how. He or she may forget about the child who he or she should be taking care of and do something else that seems more exciting or interesting instead.  

The ability or authority to act or decide on one’s own without supervision:

The decision-making process is important throughout one’s life, including childhood years and the preteen era. Learning how to make decisions comes through trial and error to some extent for everyone. The same is true for preteens. Decision-making continues throughout one’s life.

Initially, parents and family members, as well as teachers are usually present to guide preteens in the decision-making process, as well as to help them learn how to make decisions correctly, without experiencing adverse consequences.

How preteens tend to act or what they do, often depends on how well they can make decisions. Have they learned how to make appropriate decisions? Maybe yes, but sometimes, no.

At some point in time, it is up to the preteen to make his or her decisions alone, without the guidance of teachers, other family members, friends or parents. Often peer pressure becomes a factor in the decision-making process. At times, this can be good, but not always.          

For example, a responsible preteen would be able to make the appropriate decision about his or her school attendance, regardless of any peer pressure in the opposite direction, while a non-responsible preteen would not. He or she would intentionally stay away from school, spend time alone or perhaps with his or her peers, or neglect to do his or her homework and thus, have to suffer the consequences.

The parent-teacher role model:

One cannot emphasize the parent-teacher model too much, when it comes to teaching preteens responsibility. Both the parent and teacher role model and active participation on their part with preteens as part of their education and development, is important in order for preteens to be able to become responsible teenagers and then responsible adults. Being aware of the importance of being responsible for preteens is part of their role, but ultimately the decision to be responsible is one made by the preteen and reflects upon his or her own nature, education, level of development and upbringing.